Category Archives: Gilbert Arenas

THANK YOU, GILBERT ARENAS

It’s been too long since we’ve had a meaningful update from the wonderful world of Gilbert Arenas.

Fortunately, Agent Zero has blessed us with this gem of a window into what he’s been doing with his life since last playing in the NBA with Memphis in 2012.

Apparently, Gilbert won these prizes playing carnival games at the Orange County Fair. Gilbert makes the dubious claim that, as he was shooting, the “fans” yelled “the rims are bent”. It is unclear thumbs upif these were Gilbert fans that assembled as word of his virtuoso performance spread, or whether they were typical carnival game fans you can find at any Fair. In response to these cheers, Gilbert reportedly yelled out “Hibachi!”, the nickname he gave himself in 2006 (apparently after purchasing the rights to the name from Brendan Haywoood, who is a business genius).

Unfortunately for Gilbert’s legions of fans (aside from those who witnessed the event in person) the picture raises more questions than answers, such as:

  • Exactly how long did it take Gilbert to win all of these prizes?
  • How much money did Gilbert spend to play enough times to bring home this haul?
  • Did Gilbert really take his kids to the Orange County Fair just so they could watch him shoot hoops for hours and then help him haul his loot home?
  • Did the kids at least get to keep some of the prizes, or did they all go straight into Gilbert’s trophy room?Guns
  • Wikipedia says that Gilbert has five kids. Where is number five? Did he or she rebel after hour number four of watching pops shoot jimmys?
  • Is this the new hobby Gilbert has settled on now that he has had to abandon his former passion for illegal fireworks?
  • How early on in the process did Gilbert break out his six shooters?

Whatever the answer to these questions, I think we can all agree that it’s comforting to know that Gilbert is still out there, doing weird shit for all us sinners.